Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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