He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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