is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize