We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
