i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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