How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
