But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
