I am puke
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
