Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
