He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
where am i from again
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
