oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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