Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
