I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize