and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
