so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
