Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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