Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
