kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
