how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
