whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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