So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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