margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
