He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
