This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
