I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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