I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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