I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I wear drunk well.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
