i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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