I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
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