it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
