my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
COCAINE IS GR8
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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