your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
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I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
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There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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