my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
