it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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