If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Two words: nipple clamps
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