Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
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My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
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I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize