Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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