I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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