friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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