I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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