D3 body, D1 cock
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
