I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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