This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
