i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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