She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
