After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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