You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
