i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
