I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
