i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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