Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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