So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
