he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
