I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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