I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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