I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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