We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
