So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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