he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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