trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
