that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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