wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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